Photo: Serge Melki

My friend Mary and I were talking the other day about the fact that both of us are always late. Not an hour late, or even 20 minutes; just 5 to 10 minutes late a majority of the time.

It stresses both of us out. Not the fact that we’re late, per se, but rather the fact that we know the person we’re meeting, or the event we are going to, has a more defined sense of time and what it means to be on it. Basically, we feel like it makes us look bad.

Which is funny, because if you dropped either of us in the middle of South America, or Africa, or most Western European countries other than Germany, we’d fall into the normal – or even too focused on time – category. We’d look bad for trying to adhere to a schedule.

Given, I can see the need for staying on schedule (though it sometimes reeks of American must-get-it-done-for-no-real-reason-other-than-to-say-it’s-done). But I also think it’s sad that we cut off so many deep and connected conversations, chances for increased development, and that we limit breakthroughs by our sometimes obsessive need to cram a lot in.

More importantly, though, is that we don’t recognize that when it comes to viewing time, there are essentially two types of people. And one view is not better than the other.

An article at HealthCompare breaks it down like this:

Linear Concept

People with a linear concept of time do well with schedules and set agendas and become anxious when they aren’t sure what will come next and are given vague or ambiguous timetables. They are generally prompt and methodical and thrive when given solid deadlines and a list of logically ordered tasks.

Amorphous Concept

For others time is a amorphous concept and their preference is to take things as they come and in no particular order. They tend to feel restricted by strict schedules and are comfortable going with the flow. For them, things will take as long as they take and delays or tangents are not usually a cause of stress or anxiety.

People with amorphous concepts of time can be prompt but their natural inclination is to get there when they get there, not out of disrespect but because their perception of time is more fluid and flexible. They do best when given a general idea of when something should be completed and not subjected to being micromanaged.

I actually think there is a third type, one that falls in middle, where being more timely when it is related to business matters is important, but more fluidity feels right in personal affairs (and yes, I may think that because this is how I see myself). \

The Importance of Time

Sometimes it's good to enjoy the scenery a bit longer / Photo: Caza_No_7

Why does it matter for you to know and understand what kind of “time viewer” you are? Well, both can cause stress if you don’t understand – and to a certain extent, accept – the other.

If you are a ‘linear’ or ‘on-time’ person, it can cause a great deal of irritation and hurt if you think someone else not showing up on time is a sign of disrespect. For the ‘amorphous’ or ‘out-of-time’ person, stress can stem from stern looks and passive-aggressive comments received when you show up late.

It’s also important to accept which side you fall on, and to let go of perceived or projected views of another because these can cause entirely too much hedonistic internal dialogue.

As many of us are trying to cut down on stress in our lives, it is important to note these areas that most people don’t think about when discussing stress. Interpersonal relationships cause the most stress of all, and since too much stress is about the most detrimental thing for your health, it’s important to weed out even the “smallest” of areas.

What’s the best way to deal with others who have a different approach to time than you?

• Particularly if you have a working relationship, be sure to be upfront as soon as possible about your natural inclination to time, but also point out positive attributes of what that approach does for your work. You may not be able to say during a job interview, “I can’t really be tied to a clock,” but once you’ve shown you are trustworthy and good at your job, it’s important to let an employer know how you work best.
• Even with family or friendships, it’s important to be open about how you move through life. The more you can be open – and even joke about your extreme punctuality or on the opposite, tardiness – the more people will accept you for who you are. If you try and always come up with excuses, you’ll just keep irritating those you love the most.

At ground level, this is one of those areas in life that it is important to go ahead and determine what category you fall in, and embrace whoever the hell you are.

Time defines us, our culture, and our planet, in a big way. The way you move through and with time is a way to showcase your spirit – grab it.

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