I wasn’t eating any grains at all when I had the intense reaction. I was just drinking the green smoothies made with fruits & vegetables. But I was very afraid of the same thing you mention–going off into bad blood sugar la-la land without the meat.

When I went back to eating organic brown rice along with the fruits and vegetables on day three and after with the elimination diet, before adding meat back in, I really felt surprisingly fine. There did come a time though, in week three, where I decided to add in some chicken just to be prudent. And instead of adding in my previous giant slabs-o’-carcass, I chose dishes that had smaller amounts of meat added in.

I didn’t know if I could survive being vegetarian for a month. I survived it for two weeks just fine, and have eaten a substantially decreased amount of meat since, going from 18 servings per week to six or seven. Rice continues to be the only grain I eat, getting additional protein from eggs, nuts and mung beans.

As I’m sure you would say yourself, trust your instinct of what’s right for you, testing it occasionally if you want in ways that seem manageable and safe. Thanks again!

I am touched by the depth and concern in your comments. Thank you for writing. I need to mention up front that, when I read, “I sense a bit of desire to consume the carrot on your part,” I was indeed munching on a carrot. That was a source of smiles all day.

In addition to being dead on about my carrot habit, yes, you are perceptive in noticing my tendency to tackle food-related issues with the occasional black-and-white determination to make *correct* choices. But I also write about (and practice) compassion with self, moderation, and tempering knowledge with wisdom and patience.

The art of cleansing one’s sense of being is as important as (and inseparable from) cleansing one’s sense of doing. I write more about the former in the previous articles in this series. This present article came from a place of recounting a crisis, where my ego wanted answers and assurance.

One of the benefits of this elimination diet has been to realize experimentally that my fear of having too little meat is no longer necessary or helpful. I have realized I can eat much less and feel much better. That in and of itself is a huge step that is changing the course of nearly forty years, and overcoming an ego-driven fear.

If I am still ruled by anything where food is concerned, it is by an old and outgrown fear of not having enough. I am actually just beginning to develop an ego that feels worthy or able to enjoy food and own some bit of confidence in exercising intentional eating habits, as opposed to resigning myself to what’s readily available (which in the past was 2-for-1 candy bars at the grocery store by my school bus stop).

Reading your comments helped me to articulate that I’m not cleansing (or living, or writing) to develop strict principles about the food I eat, as much as I’m doing it in an effort to escape and finally lay to rest childhood demons I’ve been serving for decades. It’s a structured effort to face those demons and stare them down, become bigger than them and then walk away intact.

If I hold on tightly to the reigns of control it is usually to steel myself against this task. I agree with you that I cannot control the future; I’d like to not be controlled by my past.

Regarding my comment on doing whatever it takes to avoid revisiting that cleansing reaction in the future, I see a difference between attempting to control the future, and holding myself accountable for “showing up” where issues of self care are concerned. I was surprised by the intensity of my body’s reaction. Now that I know food changes can be that powerful, I won’t jump into drastic changes without considering my past experiences.

I don’t want to exchange my memory of what happened for the sake of maintaining membership in the rah-rah cleanse club. I’ll stay in the club, with the experience duly noted. Of course there are many things I can’t control about my health or the universe at large; what I can control is who I am in these situations and where I put my attention. Showing up and choosing my objects of attention in the face of fear is a worthy endeavor.

Beyond all this cleansing and dieting, the ultimate goal is simply to be a person who eats; and one who has accepted, integrated, and moved beyond her fears and hatred of the need to eat. That’s where I’m coming from. Thank you for joining me along the way, and thanks for writing.

I was pondering doing the elimination diet, which I’ve tried before, but have always “fallen off the wagon.” Interestingly though, the one I tried included eating chicken, turkey, and fish that tend to have low allergy quotients. I was thinking about eating the amount of grains that is necessary on the diet, and if you are a protein type who doesn’t digest grains well (which I’m pretty sure is me), I wonder if it could cause an intense reaction like the one you had? I’m definitely scared for my brain to just be eating grains and no meat protein because I tend very much to go off into lala land (I think it’s a blood sugar thing). Just being curious…but man, I’m sorry you had to go through that! You never know exactly what these cleanses might release!

As much as you focus on the experimental side of life, I focus on the theoretical and spiritual side of life. Call it philosophy or religion… I probably consider it on a level you may not fully imagine. That does not mean my mind is free of faults, I try to walk a delicate line of a “real life” but also multi-dimensional perspective of looking at things. It has only been as I’ve turned 40 that I’ve fully come to comprehend just how unusual this is about myself. I say all this preface, not out of bragging [I don't particularly recommend this approach in life], but out of fact and self-awareness.

Introduction aside. I think there are several aspects of what you say that seem to me to lack a bit in the wisdom category. As you know, our thinking and experience changes us… but sometimes we react out of negative experience – and not out of the more spiritual course of choosing what is best for the total. Even if the total involves self-sacrifice (such as religion generally teaches).

Time is often a limit of our wisdom and it’s expression. I face that limit of time in this reply. So excuse any sharp expression or incomplete explanations of all the angles. There is a point where one tries to convey a message, as short and sweetly as possible, but the message itself is very dramatic. I am picking some E.X.A.M.P.L.E. of concerns, it’s wider than the individual ones I cite, and i comment with utmost respect that it could in fact be my perspective that is entirely in error. It is the sharing of notes and view that I only wish to participate in.

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Kendra said: “I plan to never revisit that reaction again; I’ll do whatever it takes to avoid it.”

My comment to this is that it can sometimes be a mistake in Life to try and over-direct the Future. I sense this general theme in your efforts. “Reactionary”, not “wisdom”. To hold tightly onto control of yourself. To cling very hard to your Ego mind, one of control. Yet Life takes a course it will, regardless of what your powerful mind things. The Earth, your Body, the entire Universe is far more than your Powerful Mind can truly push around.

I’ll contrast the first quote I took with another. Kendra said: “I got the idea to continuously make a new shake after finishing the last glass from the previous batch in order to avoid any hunger stress.”

My comment: You can let your Ego mind get used more to the “real world” of hunger pains. In these modern times of wealth and abundance, we seem to have such absolute convenience and control over food – that it seems to often to control us! Many religious and spiritual people learn to practice fasting as a way of getting the ego under control. The truth is that a healthy body can go days and days with only light food (250 calories). Sure, you will find doctors who contradict this, but I will find doctors who contradict those doctors.

I respect entirely it is your life to live. It is only viewpoint I wish to share. What i see is a heavily modern approach of almost forced water consumption, extremely tight picking of food choices. This seems of a strong Ego, one that may not listen to the body. It takes time to get the Ego out of the way to truly listen to the body. The mind has to live in the moment of time and not pine for the future or be too concerned of the results of the past.

In simple terms, I know the journey is about the journey… but I sense a bit of desire to consume the carrot on your part. With strict schedule, strict structure, strict reporting.

There are other approaches. They are not absolute and precise, they adjust and sometimes they do not. True is False and False is True. It recognizes the impossibility of accounting for all factors… and just embraces that Life is for Living. For example, just eat simpler foods and eat less frequently. I do not have the time to put together the examples of many simple and sustaining diets – but it isn’t that hard. You clearly already have the knowledge. Perhaps the biggest focus is to get the mind and it’s Ego… out of the way.

Agape to you. Respect your own life and your own choices. I am very glad you share your story, I am sure I walk away with something new that i may not realize for days or weeks.