Thank you for writing! I do have some thoughts on your questions, but I should preface them here by mentioning that I have a small box of chocolates at my desk as I type!

I have no professional training with addiction or addictive behavior; I am no doctor. I do have some personal experience with sugar addiction and addictive behavior. I also don’t know what your health situation is, or how sensitive you are to sugar. So please take my comments for what they are worth, with your own best interest at heart.

I’m mindful of the words I use, as they do matter immensely. Being a dedicated pacifist both externally and internally, I’d avoid the term “battling” a sugar addiction and instead suggest framing your experience with phrases like: learning from sugar; working with sugar; or even playing with sugar. This is not to diminish the importance of the challenge, but instead to highlight your intention to gain something from it at will. Even defeat is a learning experience. While sugar is definitely an addictive drug, there’s more to it than that. Sugar is a complex and ingrained member of our society. It’s practically a force of nature; though human-made.

The last thing I would recommend is to let go of intense pleasure and settle for anything. I’m all in support of intense pleasure, my friend. If sugar consumption is truly that good for you, take that experience seriously. Great risks and sacrifices are made in all realms of life for intense pleasure. It’s not just a sugar thing.

What I can recommend is an honest, healthy and holistic attempt at cost analysis. Look at the benefits first.

How is eating sugar so intensely pleasurable? What specifically do you like? You mentioned an electric and almost unreal pleasure. Does eating sugar give you the most intense experience of these things? Are there other things in life that have given you even more intense experiences of electric and other-worldly pleasure? How risky or elusive are those things? How does eating sugar compare? What possible consequences are involved, and how do those compare? Which experiences are most within your control? Eating sugar is a pretty easy and accessible pleasure. Making a life dream come true with someone you adore may not be. This counts as valid consideration.

Understanding some of these issues behind our pleasure-oriented choices can help us “unpack” what’s going on behind the scenes. Really, truly taking the time to write down what you like about eating sugar can be a healthy and revealing process. Who are you with when you eat sugar? Who do you become? What do you remember or what do you anticipate? What fears or stresses do you alleviate? For how long?

Eating sugar can help us realize what other sweetness we are missing out on in life. Reflecting on such experiences can be extremely educational, if we are willing to take the time and effort to embrace a holistic perspective on cravings and desires. Maybe the utter delight you get from eating _____ could remind you of how sweet it would be to pursue a non-food-related pleasure. “Wouldn’t trying such-and-such again just rock your neurons?!”

So those are some ways to acknowledge the good things about eating sugar. On the flip side of the cost analysis are the questions you probably rack yourself with more often–those dealing with the cons and consequences of eating sugar. What don’t you like about eating sugar? What negative side effects or results do you experience?

Whatever these may be, I advise making sure they are your own. In other words, don’t reprimand yourself with another someone’s ideas of why sugar is bad–or worse, why *you* are bad for eating sugar. Even if someone is an accomplished scientist with a Ph.D. in Sugar Badness, their judgments do not belong on your conscience. Parental opinions, friends’ opinions, magazine articles and fashion reviews have no place here. What’s really needed is your own personal, knowledgeable, experiential judgment of what does and doesn’t work well for you and your beautiful body.

For me, eating sugar removes me from my true self. It’s an avoidance technique. I literally don’t have the full use of my intuition, athletic ability, intelligence or authentic presence when I eat sugar. That’s a pretty serious cost, and one I’m less and less willing to pay the more I realize how much I need every cell of this person I am if I am to live the life I want for myself. I didn’t read that in a magazine article and I’ve never heard anyone say it before. So it’s historically been easy to talk myself out of believing it to be true. But it is, for me.

Believe whatever is true for you, and eat accordingly.

Finally, decide what your goals are. What do you want for yourself where eating sugar is concerned? What does a realistic, balanced, holistic picture of you and this sugar gig look like? And why is that what you want? Based on your goals, put some plans in place. Flesh out a way of getting to where you want to go. Write out baby steps, engage the help of supportive friends or online communities, and plan rewards for making progress toward where you want to be. Slow, miniscule steps tend to be the most sustainable, in my experience. Which makes them count the most.

Unfortunately, sugary foods are quick, easy, and universally accessible. If we are serious about choosing alternatives, we have to come to terms with the fact that these choices will take more time, more effort, and more perseverance. Not a lot more, but a little. If you want to eat less sugar, you’ve got to put the time for it in your schedule. You may have to budget for it. You’ll have to plan ahead of time. Sugar is so very easy. A healthy green salad is not as easy; but easier than building your own chicken nugget factory. Or spending time in the hospital. Put things into perspective, and respect yourself enough to commit extra resources to this goal. It’s important.

Have some plans in place to support yourself. What can you do besides eating sugar? Focus on what you *want* to eat more than on what you don’t. “I want to eat more of this, and this is how I will do that.” Consider the situations, times of day, or locations where you are most likely to crave sugar. Then make a plan for what you will do when that happens. Have a snack alternative in your glove box. Pick a destination where you can buy something you want to eat more than sugar. Associate a healthy food with someone or something you love, so that when you miss that someone or something, this is what you eat. Create rituals and comfortable routines around healthy foods. The more meaning you put into the good stuff, the less sugar will matter.

When you do decide to eat sugar, for Pete’s sake, enjoy it! Experience the pleasure with intention and finesse, if that’s reasonable (not if you’re diabetic). Our bodies and our lives are designed to accommodate give and take. Sugar ingestion is both good and a little costly. The more gracious and accepting you can be of yourself wherever you are in this process, the more able you will be to move on, and get to where you want to be.

Better yet, focus on what other kinds of intense pleasures you want to have. Pursue them with a vengeance. The sugar cravings may melt down to a small, impotent puddle of nothing, à la Wicked Witch of the West.

Best wishes, Esti, and thanks again for writing.

Any thoughts? Not sure if you have any background on addiction or addictive personalites.

Thanks in advance for any words or wisdom,

Esti

vs.

CREATION + CONTRIBUTION

after 10 years in the rat race chasing that elusive ‘thing’ everyone is after – only to lose it all with the turn of the markets – that’s an easy choice for me.

nicely written.

Thank you and I’m glad you enjoyed the article. Your comment made me think about the flow of the pleasure process. It’s a flow of getting the internal sense of pleasure to an external reality, or expression. We create from the inside. The internal inspires external expressions of pleasure.

Of course the opposite flow, external to internal, is what helps us to learn what we like in the first place, what brings us pleasure.

I would also mention that, just because a bottle of perfume is a “pre-packaged, consumable commodity” doesn’t mean it can’t bring me deep, satisfying and meaningful pleasure. It’s a matter of knowing the difference between being sold the impression of pleasure, and truly feeling it within. It sounds like you and I are both proponents of the latter.

Kendra Mellinger