Last week, this was my status on Facebook: Why do I feel so guilty when I don’t talk to the men I don’t want to talk to? I was simply airing my angst at having gone back and forth with a slightly, no, fairly pushy man I had met a couple of weeks before. When he first talked to me in a cafe (where I spend the majority of my life), I was writing a piece that had to be finished in the next couple of hours. I pleasantly answered his questions, while constantly averting my eyes back down to my computer and starting to type once again. He then asked if I mountain biked, and I said no. “Hike?” Yes. “Well, let’s do the number exchange thing and we can go hiking.” Ummm, was that a question? Have I given any indication that I’m interested in hanging out?

WARNING: Adult themes presented, and discretion is advised.

During the time I was a professional Dominatrix, male sexuality–something that was already quite familiar to me–was revealed to me in ways that I previously thought would be surprising. In the end, a pervert is a pervert. The way men behave when they’re focused on their own arousal varies little. The dented, battle-scarred perv who traveled all over the country visiting pro-Dommes reacted just the same way to having the heels of my boots gouge his bare nipples as did the nearly virginal mummification freak who got off on sensory deprivation when I pinched his nose shut.

WARNING: Adult themes presented, and discretion is advised.
Don’t worry, this is not a piece about abstinence. Nor am I particularly trying to educate anybody on safe sex or general safety, thought those are very important topics within themselves. No, this is about the more personal issue of whether or not it is worth it for most women to have one night stands. The personal issue being pleasure. I’ll admit, it’s never really been my thing. In college, I felt like the odd-one-out because I hardly ever went home with a guy. The few times I pushed myself to accept an invitation, I’d find an excuse to leave before the situation crossed that threshold.