Recently, I noticed a comment made by a friend beneath a picture of her and the guy she just started dating – “I’m definitely dating WAY above myself!” I smiled sadly. I’m happy that she has found a guy she thinks so highly of, and I’m sad – for her, for me, for all the other women (and men) out there – that feel they aren’t worthy enough.

The warmth of the lights at only 5:45pm signals the time of year I, unlike many others who enjoy basking in summer’s glow, come alive. Memories flow of wine glasses clinking quickly and sharply with the exuberance of holidays starting early.

It’s only November 13th, and yet I smile at the darkness outside, feeling the cozy energy of candles, bulbs covered by glass holders that probably came from IKEA but nonetheless feel a bit like Italy…no Spain. I sip a glass of Chardonnay, one I debated on whether or not to order, though I easily went for the Angus burger made from natural Carolina beef with a side of incredibly thin shoestring fries.

I sat there reading, at a loss. Wanting to give her the right words, the right tone, the right feeling. ‘I should know some answers by now,’ I thought. ‘I should have the perfect tools ready.’ Instead, all I could give was some mustered-up love. It’s hard, when what you do for a living is guide people on living a healthy, balanced life, to not have the answers. It’s funny, or ironic, or something, that I received my friend’s email, filled with the pain of loss permeating every world, just as I was editing the first chapter of an e-book I’m working on about how to live holistically.